The Miraculous Light

© Regina Franziska Rau
Summer 1988
It was in summer 1988 in Herrsching at the lake Ammersee. I liked to go to the lake during the lunch hours - and enjoyed the quiet splashing of the mild waves at the gravelly beach. Or I went into a nearby located chapel and took in its marvelously and solemn atmosphere, which was increased by the scent of the flowers on the altar, that flooded to me.

One day, I went into the chapel once again. I found a small booklet on the desk of the wooden bank, on which I always sat. I opened it and saw an illustration of a monk, as he knelt in front of a big wooden cross with Jesus....
A novice, who also knelt in front of this cross, was portrayed a page further. He looked up, as if asking for mercy. Then, I read that the photo had been made by a friend without his knowledge. I was surprised about this remark since I hadn't seen anything uncommon at the photo - and I looked at it more exactly once again. I read that the novice had wanted to prepare for his inauguration.

When I looked at the picture one again I noticed, that the same Jesus at the cross, that I had seen on the previous page - was hovering in front of the cross on the photograph with the novice - and stretched out his hands to him. His infinitely affectionate gaze was directed to the young man - as if he wanted to say: "See, I am free! And so are you! See, I am alive, because I have relieved from the cross! And so are you also relieved from the cross!"

As I saw this picture, inexpressible peace streamed through me. I sat there in this tiny chapel a long time, daydreaming happily. Then, I put down the booklet again and went out.

However, this finding didn't leave me alone. I thought of it on and on. I knew that everyone would get a sign, if he would only ask for it long enough and with an open heart.

I had discovered a "Way of the Cross" not far away from the chapel, which I visited a few times. Then one day I suddenly got the strange idea to come here again with a camera and to take a photo of all the crosses with Jesus on them. I wanted to get the film developed. And then I wanted to wait, what would happen.

Thought - done. One sunny day I came with a camera to the said place. I held a short conversation with my inner Jesus before and naively asked him like a child, whether he could send me also such a miraculous sign, like this novice from the booklet.

I punched the first photo from the stairway, that led up to the "Way of the Cross". Then, I went up and photographed all the crosses one after the other. I felt strange somehow and a little foolish, and confessed my doubts in front of one of the crosses - just like a child, who is ashamed, because it had been caught in the act of the preparation of a prank. But however, what I had started, I wanted to see it through.

As I had left the crosses behind me, I shot another picture from the narrow path, that left the "Way of the Cross" between two fences in the end.

With this "loot" in my bag, I moved away contentedly. On the next day I went to the photographer with that film, to get it developped. Then, I waited patiently for an endless seeming week and went there again in order to pick up the photos.
The photographer immediately welcomed me and said, that I should not be disappointed since there had not been seen anything on the entire film, that would have rewarded to be developped. If he had developed it, so he informed me - all the photoes would have been totally black. He said: "...excepted the the first and the last negative. I have developped these two negatives." And he asked me, whether I wanted to see them.

Stairway to the "Way of the Cross" The first picture showed the Stairway to the "Way of the Cross", just like I had expected. The last picture of the film showed a way running between two fences, just like I had picked the picture. A big round and light stain was located on it. The remaining negatives actually were without any recognizable motive. I looked at the picture with the stain in detail and complained to the photographer, that he had let a caustic liquid drip on the photo. He explained to me that this would not be his blame since the negative showed the same stain. However, I was not contented with that answer and thought, that then he simply might have let something drip on the negative. He replied, that that could not be quite possible, because every caustic liquid would have lead to the consequence that then only a light blot would have been seen, and not, as obviously seen through the stain: the meadow, the flowers and the way...

The Light There I got suspicious. I excused myself and went out with the two photos. I went to my beach. There I watched the pictures for a long time. Quite slowly and quietly it dawned to me what I experienced here... and while I saw it, I felt unworthy and was really ashamed. Simultaneously an undreamt strength and joy flooded through me. I jumped like a child - laughed and greeted all people kindly, so that they turned around with astonishment...

Now, I had understood the message:

"Do not seek me in the dead things of this world,
because I am the beginning and the end -

I am light!"


 
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Meetings, that I never forget